Gendered Speech Variation: Vulgarity

Interesting variation in speech occurs between genders. Gender norms affect how one acts and thinks others should act, and this includes how one speaks and thinks others should speak. I’d like to explore the topic of language and gender with the more specific topic of vulgarity. Vulgarity can be considered references to sex or bodily functions. Gender stereotypes label men as more vulgar than woman, and gender norms allow men to be more vulgar than women. I shall explore this further.

            Between men, vulgarity is usually pretty common. Vulgarity is often used as part of mock ritual insults that men engage in. Vulgar insults and jokes about things like penises, each other’s mothers, and masturbation seem to be a way for men to bond. However, it is common among some men to be vulgar in normal, neutral speech. Phrases like “I’ve got to take a shit/dump” or “I need to piss” are common among men usually regardless of how close friends they are. The reason for this, I think, is connected to men wishing to project the gendered identity of appearing strong and confident, especially around other male peers. I think that men using vulgarity in casual conversation think (subconsciously—or maybe even consciously) something like, “I’m daring enough to use an usually inappropriate term very casually. Look how I am not embarrassed to break norms of modesty.”

            Between men and women, the situation is different. It is considered inappropriate to use vulgar terms around women—a norm with roots from more prudish gender norms of previous centuries. Despite the decreased norm of modesty, vulgarity is still generally considered inappropriate around women. In my own mixed-sex friend groups, very rarely have I heard a man be as explicit as he is around just male peers. And when the norm is broken, it seems that, in a way, women still try to uphold the norm. For example, once a male friend told a female friend next to him that he was leaving to “take a dump.” The female responded by laughing, but it was not really like laughing at a joke—it was more of a “Oh, silly you. You know that’s inappropriate!” laugh. While the fact that she laughed instead of being shocked or insulted makes it evident that gender norms are changing, such vulgarity around women is still considered somewhat inappropriate.

            In the presence of men, women may feel that vulgarity is inappropriate because of lingering gender norms that instruct that women be polite and nice. In fact, I would say that these norms do still linger: a women that announces, “I’m going to take a shit,” would definitely be not only laughed at but most likely be thought poorly of by other women and men (which is especially not what a women in a dating/sexual arena like college would want). Furthermore, when women decide to be vulgar, it is usually with “nicer” and “younger” words. For example, it would not be too shocking for a women to say, “I have to pee,” because “pee” is not considered too vulgar because it is considered a “younger” word than “piss” (a child probably learns words for urine in this order: “peepee” – “pee” – “piss”). This shows that gender norms that equate women to children, innocent people that need to be protected, still linger. Moreover, the fact that women can now say “pee” without much social turmoil shows that gender norms aren’t static.
            One group that I can’t speak much about is a female-only group. Women possibly, when alone together, speak just as vulgarly in casual conversation as men, and only the fact that vulgarity is face-threatening in mixed groups keeps them modest around men. However, because of the power of gender norms, perhaps this isn’t the case.